Protecting Your Rights: Estate Planning for Same-Sex Couples in San Diego

At Peaceful Warrior Law here in San Diego, we’ve seen firsthand how uncertainty weighs on couples. The truth is, no matter what happens at the federal or state level, estate planning gives you the power to secure your rights, your assets, and your loved ones.



Why Estate Planning Is Different for Same-Sex Couples

Today, same-sex marriage is recognized nationwide thanks to the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision and the Respect for Marriage Act. But history has shown us how quickly laws can shift. If federal protections were weakened or removed, couples could face serious consequences:

• Loss of marital estate tax deductions that allow unlimited transfers between spouses.
• Ineligibility for spousal Social Security benefits, including survivor benefits.
• Complications with retirement accounts, such as rollovers or inherited IRA benefits.
• Loss of spousal immigration rights for non-citizen partners.
• Uncertainty in states hostile to marriage equality affects healthcare, property, and parental rights.
  
  

Consider this: a San Diego couple who moved from Massachusetts (an early state to legalize same-sex marriage) might feel safe. But what happens if they later relocate to a state without strong protections? Suddenly, their spouse’s ability to make medical decisions or inherit property could be questioned.

This is why proactive estate planning is essential, not only to protect against political shifts but to ensure your wishes are honored no matter where life takes you.

Comprehensive Estate Planning: Beyond Documents, It’s About Protection

Before marriage equality, LGBTQ+ couples relied on creative legal planning to secure rights that others took for granted. Those tools are still powerful today, and when woven into a Comprehensive Estate Plan, they give you a comprehensive safety net.

Here are the pillars of protection every same-sex couple should consider:

1. Revocable Living Trust

A trust ensures your assets go directly to your spouse or chosen loved ones without interference from probate courts or outdated laws. Whether it’s your San Diego home, investment accounts, or personal property, a trust protects what you’ve built together.

2. Healthcare Directive & HIPAA Release

Hospitals don’t always honor verbal requests, especially if your marriage is questioned. With clear directives, your spouse has unquestioned authority to make medical decisions and access records if you’re incapacitated.

3. Durable Power of Attorney

From paying the mortgage to managing investments, your spouse (or designated partner) should have the authority to act on your behalf without delay. This document ensures continuity when life throws the unexpected at you.

4. Beneficiary Designations

Retirement accounts, life insurance, and bank accounts pass directly to named beneficiaries. Regularly reviewing and updating these designations prevents costly mistakes like assets accidentally going to estranged relatives instead of your spouse.

5. Cohabitation or Partnership Agreements

If marriage laws were ever rolled back, agreements like these ensure your financial and property rights remain enforceable. They add another layer of protection to your relationship.

Why Procrastination Is the Greatest Risk

One of the hardest cases we handled involved a couple who “meant to” update their plan but never did. When one partner passed unexpectedly, the surviving spouse faced challenges accessing shared accounts, delayed authority in healthcare matters, and pushback from extended family. Grief was compounded by legal battles, exactly what planning could have prevented.

It’s natural to want to “wait and see.” But waiting can mean your loved one is left vulnerable in the very moment they need security most.

Even if marriage protections remain intact, estate planning offers other benefits: avoiding probate, minimizing taxes, protecting assets from creditors, and ensuring your wishes are carried out exactly as you intend.

The Heart of Estate Planning: Love, Not Just Law

At its core, estate planning isn’t about politics or paperwork. It’s about love. It’s about knowing your partner won’t face obstacles during the hardest moments of life. It’s about protecting your home, your family, your legacy.

At Peaceful Warrior Law in San Diego, we understand the unique challenges LGBTQ+ couples face. Our Life & Legacy Planning® process is designed not just to create documents, but to provide true peace of mind, so no matter what the future holds, your love and your life’s work are protected.